"I'm a slow dying flower, the frost killing hour, the sweet turning sour and untouchable"- My Skin

"Take a look at my body, look at my hands. There's so much here that I don't understand"- My Skin

"They say that promises sweeten the blow, but I don't need them"- My Skin

"I've been treated so wrong, I've been treated so long... as if I'm becoming untouchable"- My Skin

"I need a lullaby, a kiss goodnight, angel sweet, the love of my life"- My Skin

"I don't expect anything-" Quiet

"Too much time spent on closing doors"- Quiet

"and I had read all of this in his eyes, long before he even said so." - Quiet

"hurt myself again today....and the worst part is there's no one else to blame" - Breathe Me

"Be my friend" - Breathe Me

"Lost myself again and I feel unsafe" -Breathe Me

"Hold me, wrap me up. Unfold me, I am small. I'm needy, warm me up." -Breathe Me

"Just put me on a plane and fly me to anywhere" - Coffee and Cigarettes

"he was perfect except for the fact that he was an engineer. Mothers prefer doctors and Lawyers" - Love Affair

"Rain down on me, from the great heights" Paranoid Android

"What comes is better than what came before"- I Found a Reason

"If I be your girl, will you be my guy?" - Overboard

"It'll take, more than just a breeze to make me fall over, fall over, fall overboard, overboard just so you can catch me" - Overboard

"What if I never let you win?... Chase you with a rolling pin. Well, what if I do?" - Giving Up

"And then you take that love you made, and stick it in to some. Some one else's heart, pumping someone else's blood." - On the Radio

"and everyone must breathe. until they're dying breath" - On the Radio





"You're asking me will my love grow. I don't know... I don't know." - Something

"Tell me what's wrong...this makes no sense at all. All this torture when, we could be in love." - We Could be In Love

"It's only hard at night, when I can't hear your voice under the covers" - We Could be in Love

"You are my sweetest downfall." - Samson

"Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth" - Samson

"And so it is. The shorter story. No love, no glory. No hero in her sky" - The Blower's Daughter

"I feel you on my fingertips. My tongue dances behind my lips for you." - All Around Me

"My heart is drenched in wine" - Don't Know Why

"Well is it dark enough? Can you see me, do you want me, can you reach me?" - My Skin




"It's alright, 'cos there's beauty in the breakdown" -  Let Go

"You sang me Spanish Lullabies, the sweetest sadness in your eyes...clever trick." - Almost Lover

"You'd better kiss me now, or catch your death." - My Skin

and be tucked in to bed with a kiss goodnight.

I gaze at the sweet seduction of your lips,

the sadness in your eyes

I shouldn't.

But I can't stop myself.

The coldness of your hands on my neck.

The warmth of my face against your chest.

Tiny heartbeats in my ear.

Pulling away,

giving in.

My lips shaking as you pull me in closer.

It isn't right.

I can't help myself.

Your nose grazes mine as our lips are united,

like when the sun meets the earth at the horizon.

In perfect harmony.

Whispering in the darkness,

longing,

wanting.

I can't stop trembling.

Pixie is eating aluminum foil!!! What should I do? 

Crazy cat... do you think she'll die?

='(

I don't know why.. but suddenly I've got an urge to start writing in my journal. 

I've never really done much to my own journal.. Usually just post in communities or in other peoples' journals.

I guess it must be because I've been reading a lot of Josie's entries lately. And I just thought it would be really funny to look back at this next year. (No, not tomorrow Emily). Hah. And I get to make my own lame jokes too and laugh at myself=D 

And I guess it's kind of a cool way to start the new year.

Heh. I wonder how long i'll be able to keep this up... I certainly hope I don't become an LJ-addict like some people.

Hmm...It's not like I actually have anything to write about. But I'm great at rambling on.. and i'll fill up my journal in no time.

So today was pretty boring.. I just got home from work. Put together some dinner. Just the same old...

I am wondering now.. why do I space out my entries so much? I suppose its because it's the way my thoughts work. I jump around too much and wayy to quickly. It's all pretty random.

I'm having a get together with some friends on the 5th to celebrate my birthday (January 12th). I haven't done any preparations yet.. And I don't even know if I'll have any money by then=\

Mom made these weird tempeh rolls last night for dinner. She said they were vegetarian. I started eating one....they were filled with a medley of vegetables. And then I discovered some pork rinds. Mom did  a good job at disguising them with the other translucent-white vegetables (raddishes, cabbage, onions). And i had to poke at it for a while in disbelief... thinking it could just be clouds ear (a translucent-white fungus that looks quite a bit look cooked pork rinds) But I'm prettttttyy sure they were pork rinds. I almost gagged when I found out. Cuz I had already eaten a lot of the roll. And it was a biggggg roll. 

I prefer the tempeh rolls from restaurants. Because when they are labelled vegetarian, they have to be. Or they could get in trouble.. right? Well. I couldn't really say anything to mom because she'd make a big fuss, which would result in an argument, screaming.. me crying. 

I don't like to cry..I find that it cuts the hours of my days shorter. LOL. Because my eyes get tired and they hurt after crying.. Which means I can't really do anything anymore and just go to sleep earlier. 

So yeh.. back to my little story. The conclusion is that I don't like weird, new foods that my mom makes. Anything to do with rolls... or wraps.. or fish cake type things.. with meat hidden in them..  Actually it's not even my mom. The other day, I was at my student's house. His mom ordered pizza because she wanted to "celebrate" the holidays with me. The pizza appeared to be vegetarian with lovely roasted veggies on top. But then I look closer and there are little bits of bacon hidden under the vegetables. I told her it was lovely of her to think of me and order pizza and all. But I told her I wasn't going to eat it because I don't eat bacon. She almost force fed me a slice of that pizza. (Even my mom isn't able to do that) She kept insisting that I try a little bit of it, that the crust was perfect... She handed me a piece and I said no thank you. Then she was like "Fine, just throw it away then" in the BITCHIEST voice ever. I ended up eating the crust.. and picking at some of the tomatoes and zucchini... It was pretty gross. 

I feel much safer when food is prepared on it's own.. not mixed with things. Steamed fish. On it's own. Baby bok choi, on it's own. Scrambled eggs.. no bacon or anything mixed in to it. Any fritata- like thing would be kinda scary...

So I still have a problem with some foods.. But I dont see a problem in being a pescetarian. Other than the fact that I have an iron defieciency and my lips have no colour.. But it's okaaayyyyyy... that's what supplements are for. 

Actually.. about eggs. 

I was eating an egg today. And I just realized... I eat eggs now. Whole eggs. For a couple years I used to only eat the white of eggs.. But now I don't seem to want to throw up everytime I eat egg yolks.. That's quite an accomplishment.. I don't really love the idea of it.. But I'll remind myself that I won't die from eating egg yolks.

Otay.. that's all for now.

Told ya I'd ramble on forever.

Some days, I walk by the mirror, and I don't think I'm fat. 

Some odd days, I refuse to swallow the lies my reflection feeds me.

Today, I actually think I look pretty good.

...So does this mean i'm "cured" ?

Hunger is only a state of mind

...Those who are strong, know how to control it.